uni-verse • 71

I'm officially in uni now.

Defining my university orientation week: badly tanned (or worse, burned) skin, black and blue with bruises, and thousands of little (both significant and insignificant) things to remember. It is funny how a week feels like forever, but when it is over, you'll look back and stop and stare and wonder: I've done that? It's over now? So, this is the end?

Well.

It all started with seven dots and a dash (not in that particular order) and coordinates that points the city Michigan. Then, it was endless night without sleep with red and blue paper waiting to be intertwined, and unending supplies of laughs (and cries of frustation). Seventeen clueless motherfuckers and a furious mother hen trying to set us straight. Our person in charge must be a saint in another life, because he suffered through us and his temper survived. (Well, he is not that nice, but at least he never went Hulk-like, which is quite possible, given the circumstances.)

So, this is Henry Ford:

Henry Ford is a team you wanna hang out with, but wanna do assignments without. In a team, we are proli that one guy that just sat there while the rest of the group is frantically trying to do everything. It is uber fun with these guys, but Henry Ford aren't the nerd friends material, totally not those people you can ask to tutor you, or that reliable someone whose notes you can borrow when you nod off in class. You can count on Henry Ford when you're looking for some fun, or shoulders to cry on.

In a nutshell, we are nice, but very lazy.

Like nearly every time I made friends with someone, I can't pinpoint the exact time I fall for them. It could be from the very first `hi!` or the very first awkward smile, or the time spent together, exclaiming silly monikers (oleng, pemulung, bidadari, daur ulang, tukang becak, profesor joget, bidadari jahat—everything, every single one of them). Maybe it started with calling the wrong names, or remembering the wrong faces, or spending too many hours together that you unintentionally remember the exact timbre of their voices. Maybe the shared jokes fueled it. Maybe the laughter sealed it.

This whole orientation thing—from the preparation, the days, to the ending—left me with more things to think about (yes, it is still my hobby) and more pondering time in between assignments and me maintaining my barely there social life. More what ifs. More meanings to define.

And yes, this is my answer to my own musings: We have done that, it's just started, and this is the beginning.

(P.S.: WHAT IS GRAMMAR. My English has gone rusty.)

tulisannya • Jupiter

Sometimes, people ask me questions I am oblivious about, questions forever I can't answer, something along the line of "Am I not good enough for him/her?" or "Why can't I be perfect?" and I awkwardly smile while wondering why do they ask that to me, or to themselves. Sometimes people wonder why they are not pretty enough, or nice enough, or smart enough, and they got insecure and trying their hardest to change and they ended up miserable because they do not realize that they are perfect just they way they are.

Yes, it is cliché, but true, isn't it?

So I think about it, sometimes, like every time a question is presented to me and they are just there, niggling, waiting to be answered, even though 9 times out of 10, I can't really answer it. And yes, I do think a lot, about a lot of things. After all, thinking is the most fun you can get when you're just contently idle, doing nothing, and you don't want to do the Herculean effort of moving a muscle.

So, I think about it.

The next time someone ask me the question, I smiled, not awkwardly this time, and answered:

"Someone perfect has a heart as big as Jupiter."

Because surely someone with a heart that big is very nice, very pretty and very smart. A heart big enough to accept and care that everyone is different, and different is beautiful, and they don't discriminate because they understand. A heart big enough to be forgiving and patient. A heart big enough to not take anything for granted. A heart big enough to be brave and stand for what they believe in. A heart big enough to know that love will conquer all, no matter how cliché it is.

Someone accepting has the warmest eyes, because they never judge, because they are there with their arms (and heart) wide open, waiting to embrace. Their eyes twinkle with happiness because they see the goodness in everyone. Someone forgiving and patient has the sincerest smile, because they never force themselves to be nice. Their lips curved beautifully without malice. And with that features, how can someone be `not pretty`?a

And of course someone that not taking anything for granted, someone that standing for what they believe in, and someone that believes in love is very smart, don't you think so? Because they are passionate about what they have, what they think of, and what they love. And no, someone with a heart as big as Jupiter won't believe in something petty and self-servicing because they are nice and they care and understand.

Now that I think about it, it still doesn't answer the question. But I have met people with a heart as big as Jupiter, and it is happiness with them, so I think that someone perfect is the one that bring happiness to someone around them?

Because no matter how badly crooked their nose or teeth are, or how frizzy their hair is, or how not proportional whatever feature they have, a pair of warm eyes and sincere smile are still pretty, and surely someone that bring happiness for others is nice, and have that kind of eyes and smile?

dora the explorer • 6:32 - Kelana

Hari ini aku merantau, sayang;

cari-cari hatiku yang hilang.

Namun yang kutemukan hanya kenangan.

*

(Today I'm wandering about, darling;

looking for a heart gone missing.

But memories are my only finding.)

* * *

Earliest flight to Singapore, the sun was just peeking from the horizon.

It was breathtaking.